What the hell, Fortune!!! That's it! I'm so going to kill you!

– Mario to Fortune Secretii, after Fortune Exposed the Truth (4)

"Mario Kills Fortune" is a story arc that began on March 11, 2017, and ended on March 16, 2017.

Synopsis Edit

From the creator of Turbo Kills Rowlet comes a new story arc where someone is going to war with a designated victim and will not stop until the victim is dead. This time, Mario wants to punish Fortune Secretii after she caused Amy Rose to ditch Sonic the Hedgehog and thus become his ex-girlfriend. The punishment in question is that Mario wants to kill Fortune and thus become the second character (after Dragonlord) to kill Fortune on-screen. Will Mario succeed in teaching Fortune a lesson?

How It Began Edit

Five days after the events of the fourth episode of Fortune Exposed the Truth, Mario finds out about Amy ditching Sonic and deduced from the script that Fortune was responsible for the break-up. Mario goes "What the hell!!!" and decides to target Fortune.

Events That Occurred During the ArcEdit

  • Mario switches places with Luigi, having apparently heard that it is easier to kill Fortune if he is not in the same district as her.
  • Mario arms himself with a sniper rifle. In a later round, he finds explosives.
  • Lily Secretii spears Mario, demonstrating that she is protective of other Secretiis.
  • Cinccarina and Primadueye appear for the first time in a Hunger Games simulator round.
  • Mario sets an explosive off during the Bloodbath, but the explosion somehow misses Fortune.
  • Mike Macaw slows Mario down by forcing him to hug Patty, hoping that her bad luck curse would be rubbed on Mario. (Mike is trying to prove a theory that Patty is "The Jinx".)
  • Turbo Secretii reassures Fortune that everything will be okay, to the point of having sex while inside of Cosmog's shelter.
  • Mario was torn on whether to use a death potion on Dunstan Secretii, but remembers that his target is Fortune and decides not to use the potion.
  • Mario spares Waluigi's life while under the impression of trying to appease Xerneas.
  • Mario thinks he has a chance after Fortune made it to the Feast along with himself, only to be struck by a random lightning bolt. This misfortune comes to bite Mario's butt even more when Fortune went on to win the round. (Yank the Dog's Chain)
  • Mario finds who he thinks is Fortune and calls "her" a lucky son-of-a-bitch. He actually found Ben Wilburn Warner instead, who kills Mario.
  • Mario repeatedly gets slowed down by having to challenge secret levels imposed on him by Fortune's friends.
  • During March 14, 2017, Mario bakes a pie to give to Fortune as a gift to celebrate Pi Day. He then pies her in the face, reminding her that she still has yet to be punished.
  • Fortune repaints her shelter walls crimson, having apparently heard that Mario loves the color red.
  • Pachinko attempts to kill Mario, but he stops her temporarily by forcing her to watch The Day After Tomorrow. Blaine Cole suddenly appears to finish the job.
  • Luigi gave his thoughts about his brother. (This took place the night after Mario got attacked by a Bunnelby.)
  • Several rounds stopped very early due to Fortune yelling "I wasn't ready!".
  • Dragonlord briefly appears to restart his personal rivalry with Mario, but Mario prevents fighting by forcing Dragonlord to watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.
  • Mario gets revenge from Mr. Warner killing him by luring him into a Free Candy Van.
  • Turbo vs. Dragonlord, and Dragonlord vs. Mario, all in one fight. Mario wins because of his determination to kill Fortune, but all he gets for a reward the next day is getting yelled at by Chris McLean for no reason.
  • Birdietalk Productions achieves a dream event (act like Roman Reigns to scare off Seth Rollins).
  • Mario finally confronts Fortune one on one, but instead of a killing, a baby results.
  • Constant "Yank the Dog's Chain" moments allow Fortune to have an obvious night ending with Turbo.
  • Mario confronts Fortune again, but the event that results is Mario forcing Fortune to eat grass, which is a nonfatal event. Primarina attempts to add insult to injury, but Zira Brown rebelled against her.
  • George Raven blocks Mike E. Macaw from killing Mario.
  • Mario and Dave Hester demonstrate Patty's bad luck curse. Dave's efforts result in an obvious night ending with Dunstan.
  • Mario briefly gets serious and summons a sandstorm, but ends up killing Tottie Babs, instead of Fortune. Turbo proceeds to add insult to injury, by forcing Blaine to kill Mario. She also taunts Primarina for her failure in attempting to try a similar scheme.
  • Pachinko kills Mario and ends up getting killed by Dragonlord for her efforts. Yoshi Secretii responds by killing Dragonlord as vengeance.
  • The death caused by Pachinko made Mario realize that as long as Pachinko is around, Fortune will remain unable to be killed by Mario. He decides to separate the sisters from each other.


After Chris McLean adds a ton of new events, Fortune recruits the help of Birdietalk Productions and Waluigi in an attempt to make a successful ambush. Mario sees this coming, and recruits Red Secretii and Sean Corbett to counter Fortune's team. Fortune's ambush was unsuccessful, and Mario successfully teaches Fortune a lesson. Luigi just now realizes what Mario did to make his job easier (Mario switched places with Luigi.), and kills his brother during the Feast. It wasn't until the round completely ends that Mario realizes that he wasn't the only one who killed Fortune (Red and Sean assisted him.), and he decides to target Sean (the winner) next. 21 real-time hours after killing Fortune, Mario kills Sean with an explosive. However, he still hasn't made up his mind on what to do with Red.

Trivia Edit

This story arc marks Fortune's second on-screen death.

Mario is not the only character credited with killing Fortune. Red Secretii and Sean Corbett assisted him.

Pikachu foreshadowed Sean's last laugh, thus winning him the award "Are You a Wizard?!".

Later during "Secretiis Kill Mario", Fortune inflicted payback for what Mario did to her.

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